Untitled Document

Reviews
• About.com's 'In The Spotlight' Adoption page
• Holt International Children's Services
• Adoptive Families Magazine

Review from "About.com's 'In The Spotlight' Adoption page"
Build Attachment Through Massage
There has been much discussion (including on our forum) about techniques and treatments to encourage bonding and attachment. A new video created especially for adoptive families takes a lesson from Attachment Parenting and teaches parents (and siblings) how to use touch to help the process. Our reviewer, Myrna Mills tried it on her 16-month old son and he loves it!
Here is what she has to say...

This video, produced by Three Hearts, teaches parents how to massage their infants and children with a loving touch. Massage promotes attachment and bonding by reinforcing gentle, close, loving contact between parents, siblings, and the new child.

Touch is the most basic level of human contact. It is needed for a child to thrive. Massage works well with any age child; however, it is easiest with infants who are not yet mobile. Many older infants and toddlers are so mobile and into their surroundings, they are not able to stay in one place for a massage, but the video covers those situations and offers logical recommendations. If you start the massage on your child while still an infant, it becomes a routine that the child will come to enjoy and cherish it throughout childhood. If you start the massage on a toddler, you might face some challenges, but the child will learn to love and enjoy the close contact with time and consistency of use.

This video was fantastic! It is easy to follow and gives wonderful knowledge and support to the parents. I tried the techniques on my 16 month old son, Michael Raleigh. He is completely and utterly into everything (as most toddlers are!) and does not like to sit still. It took me about a week of consistency for him to let me massage him for more than a few minutes at a time. The techniques definitely worked and now he throws himself tummy down on the couch for a back massage. Little by little, he lets me massage more than one area per session for longer periods of time. And best of all, my son loves the massage!

I really feel great to have that close contact with him. Michael Raleigh is so independent now, wanting to do things on his own, not wanting to hold my hand, discovering how fast he can run and climb. The massage techniques allow me to maintain a loving contact with him which is so beneficial for his development. I believe that it is reinforcing our attachment and bond to each other, especially since he is becoming such an independent toddler.

A wonderful aspect of this video is not just the ease with which parents can use the massage techniques, but how siblings can also use the same techniques. This video reinforces the beliefs of family bonding and attachment. Not just parent and child. There are segments demonstrating how a child was able to give massage to his baby brother. It really was heartwarming to see the nurturing and bonding being fostered in such a loving and caring way.

I would recommend this video not just for adoptive parents, but for any parent, adoptive or biological. The premise is the same for all: to foster attachment and bonding between family and child through massage.

The video is available from Three Hearts, in DVD or VHS format at a cost of $20.00 plus shipping and handling.

Few people would question the value of touch in bonding with an infant, but what are some practical ways to make your touch/bonding efforts more effective, safe, and meaningful to your child?

These questions and many more are answered convincingly well in “Bonding Through Touch: Infant Massage for Adoptive Parents,” a video by Certified Licensed Massage Therapist, Joni Rubinstein. A mother of three children (Three Hearts), Rubinstein introduced infant massage to adoption agencies and teen parent programs in 1987. Since then she has brought her crusade for gentle, loving touch to various conferences across the country.

Though not specifically for internationally adopted children, Rubinstein’s approach and methods are particularly well-suited to the needs of small children adopted from other countries. She also briefly mentions massage concerns as related to older and special needs children.

Bonding, of course, is a major concern for parents adopting children internationally. Parents feel driven to connect with their children on an intimate level as quickly as possible. However, children adopted internationally present some unique concerns: they may be a little older when united with parents; some have experienced warmth and love in the care of a foster family while others have been largely emotionally neglected in a crowded orphanage; and then even for young children parent’s language/cultural affectations will seem foreign.

Rubinstein’s techniques provide a sensitive, gentle approach to young children—a go-at-the-child’s pace mantra. And infant touch/massage provides a level of communication that bypasses language and most cultural differences. Rubinstein reminds parents using touch massage to develop other avenues of bonding at the same time-using eye contact and verbal communication.

Sometimes Rubinstein’s advice borders on what many parents do naturally with their children. After all, touch, eye contact, and gentle verbal communication have always been the basis of parent child bonding. But at almost every turn, Rubinstein provides pieces of advice that could significantly enhance the bonding process. For instance, Rubinstein suggests using unscented oil with a vegetable base so that children can connect better with their parent’s scent, and they are less likely to have an allergic reaction. Rubinstein instructs in a wide range of massage techniques that will easily create an extended one-on-one time for parents and siblings with their new arrival. Especially for first-time parents, Rubinstein’s video is a valuable addition to adoption resources.

Review from "Adoptive Families Magazine"

Bonding Through Touch is a beautifully crafted, practical tool that should be in the library of every adoption agency and adoptive family support group. It has something for every family of a young child.

The video gives excellent instructions on how to initiate and sustain massage through the powerful combination of touch, voice, and scent (a sense that is acute in young children, and helps enhance attachment). Viewers see adoptive mothers, fathers, and older siblings in different types of adoptive families massaging a new family member, and talking about the experience.

Bonding Through Touch empowers parents to enhance attachment even when they have limited time at home with their new child. It also shows how newly adopted older babies and toddlers with little nurturing prior to adoption at first turn to avoid eye contact, but are transformed by the language of touch in a gentle, non-threatening way. Massage helps them to attach to the new adults in their lives, and these relationships in turn boost their linguistic, physical, emotional, and social development.

This is a lovely DVD, not only for new adoptive parents, but for pediatricians, and prospective parents as well.